Holding Space for What Hurts and What Still Shines: Grief During the Holidays
The holidays have a way of stirring up so much. For some, it’s excitement and connection. For others, it’s a quiet ache that surfaces when the world feels too bright, too busy, too loud. If you’re grieving this season—whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a sense of stability, or even the version of life you thought you’d have—you’re not alone.
Grief doesn’t take time off for the holidays. It shows up in the empty chair at the table, in the songs that used to make you smile, in the pressure to “feel merry” when you’re just trying to make it through the day. You might feel joy one moment and heartbreak the next. That’s okay. Both can exist together.
Allow Yourself to Feel It All
There’s no “right” way to grieve, especially during the holidays. You may find yourself laughing at a memory one minute and crying the next. You might feel numb, angry, or even guilty for enjoying small moments of peace. All of it belongs. Give yourself permission to be human—exactly as you are, without forcing yourself to perform or pretend.
Change the Traditions, or Don’t
Sometimes we cling to traditions because they make us feel close to those we’ve lost. Other times, the same rituals can be too painful to bear. It’s okay to do things differently this year—or to keep them the same. You might light a candle, hang a photo ornament, or simply take a quiet walk. Let your heart decide what feels right for this moment in your healing.
Protect Your Energy
You don’t have to say yes to every gathering, every invitation, or every expectation. Grief can be exhausting, and your capacity may look different right now. It’s okay to leave early, to stay home, or to ask for what you need. Saying no isn’t selfish—it’s sacred. It’s a way of caring for yourself in a season that often asks for too much.
Find Comfort in Connection
Even when words fall short, being with others who understand can soften the edges of grief. That might mean spending time with family, reaching out to a friend who “gets it,” or talking with a counselor who can hold space for your story. You don’t have to carry this alone.
Honor What Was—and What Still Is
Grief is love with nowhere to go. Finding small ways to honor what you’ve lost can give that love direction. Write a letter. Cook their favorite meal. Donate in their name. Share a story. When we find gentle ways to remember, we keep the love alive.
Be Gentle With Yourself
If this season feels heavy, please know it’s okay to step back, breathe, and do less. Healing doesn’t mean moving on—it means finding a way to move forward while carrying what matters most with you.
You are allowed to feel joy again. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to create new memories while holding space for the old ones.
And when it feels too heavy to hold, support is here.
